She pleaded: “Look at me!” But he would not see her. He only knew how to look at the outside of things.
From Braid, by Jonathan Blow
In a world dominated by appearances, it’s easy to miss the deeper structure of reality. We are trained from a young age to notice surfaces — faces, voices, labels, identities, things we can touch, see, and describe. But beneath every surface lies something far more essential, subtle, and enduring.
That something is essence.
To truly understand the world — and ourselves — we must grasp one of the most foundational truths in existence:
Everything has a form and an essence.
This principle is so universal, so deeply woven into the fabric of creation, that once you see it, you begin to see it everywhere. In fact, every mistake we make, every illusion we fall for, and every spiritual awakening we experience is somehow related to confusing form with essence — or learning to finally distinguish between the two.
Let’s break it down.
🌱 The Basics: What Is Form? What Is Essence?
Form is what something looks like. It’s the outer shape, the structure, the sensory appearance — how something shows up in the world.
Essence is what something is. It’s the core reality, the invisible truth, the purpose, the function, the energy that animates the form.
🧍♂️ People: Body and Soul
Take the human being.
- Form: The body — your face, your height, your clothing, your gestures, even your voice.
- Essence: The soul — your inner world, your consciousness, your intentions, your character, your being.
Two people can look identical. They can have similar body types, voices, and mannerisms. But one may be filled with peace and kindness, and the other with turmoil and deceit. Their forms are alike, but their essences are miles apart.
This is why people can be attractive on the outside but empty or even toxic within (“You are beautiful, but you are empty…” – The Little Prince) — and why someone who may not be physically remarkable can radiate a deep beauty that moves you.
📝 Language: Appearance vs. Meaning
Words are another clear example.
- Form: The letters that spell the word. The way it sounds.
- Essence: The meaning it carries. The truth it points to.
Take the word love. The form is four letters and one syllable. But the essence of love is one of the most powerful realities in the universe. That essence isn’t in the letters. It’s in the experience, the feeling, the truth the word points to.
A word in a foreign language might look or sound meaningless to you — until you understand its essence. Then it comes to life.
🕌 Religion: Ritual and Spirit
- Form: The practices, rituals, scriptures, clothing, recitations, and buildings.
- Essence: The connection to God, the transformation of the heart, the awakening of the soul.
A prayer can look perfect on the outside — recited word for word, timed to the minute. But if it’s done without presence, love, or sincerity, the form is complete but the essence is missing.
Likewise, a simple, messy, heartfelt prayer whispered from the soul might lack formal structure — but its essence may be purer and more powerful than any outward display.
🖼️ Art: Surface and Substance
A painting, a poem, a song.
- Form: The brushstrokes, the rhyme, the melody.
- Essence: The emotion, the message, the spirit of what’s being expressed.
You can copy the form of a great artist, mimic their technique, or even replicate their work. But without their essence, the copy will feel hollow. Real art breathes. Its essence moves you beyond the senses.
💍 Relationships: Roles and Reality
- Form: Someone may have the role of a partner, spouse, friend, or parent.
- Essence: But are they actually loving, supportive, present, and trustworthy?
A marriage certificate is form. Love, loyalty, and intimacy are essence.
A thousand followers are form. True friendship and trust are essence.
🌍 Society: Image and Integrity
Social media thrives on form — appearance, aesthetics, personas.
But the essence of a person is found in how they live when no one is watching, in their consistency over time, and in the vibration you feel when you’re in their presence.
You can put on the right outfit, say all the right things, and project an image. But without substance, the form collapses under pressure.
🧠 Mind vs. Being
- Form: Thoughts, beliefs, arguments, philosophies.
- Essence: Awareness, presence, direct experience.
You can think about something all day. You can debate it, write about it, memorize every fact. But until you become it, you haven’t touched the essence.
💡 Why This Distinction Matters
Most people suffer because they confuse form with essence.
- They chase the form of success: money, titles, fame — and feel empty when they get it.
- They marry based on form: looks, status, charm — and are shocked when the essence turns out to be incompatible.
- They follow spiritual practices mechanically — and wonder why they feel nothing.
But when you start seeking essence first, your entire life transforms.
- You look past appearances and feel people’s hearts.
- You seek meaning, not just aesthetics.
- You prioritize presence over performance.
- You realize: The most important things in life are invisible — love, trust, truth, intention, God.
🌀 The Mystery: Essence Can’t Be Faked
This is what makes essence so sacred. You can fake form. But you can never fake essence.
Essence either flows through you — or it doesn’t.
You can’t imitate someone’s soul.
You can’t manufacture truth.
You can’t Photoshop sincerity.
Essence is who you are when all the masks fall away.
🔑 Living from Essence
To live from essence means:
- You care more about what’s real than what looks good.
- You measure success by alignment, not applause.
- You seek depth, not just decoration.
- You remember that you are a soul with a body — not the other way around.
It means returning, again and again, to the center of things.
🌌 Final Thought
“God does not look at your forms, but at your hearts.”
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
Form has its place. But form is a vessel. Essence is the treasure.
Seek it. See it. Be it.
Because in the end, everything passes away — except essence.
